Yawn. Stretch. Mmmmmm. Yes, hello! I'm back!!
My unannounced blogging hiatus has been caused by a few things. First, I was struck down by a nasty tropical illness called dengue fever. Literally struck down - completely out of commission for an entire week, now recovering still, slowly but surely.
Second, I have been visiting the homeland. Canada. Victoria, where my paternal grandmother now lives, and island of my childhood summer escapades, and Calgary, my birthplace and where I lived until I went overseas at the age of 8.
Memory has a taste, bittersweet, strong and smoky, yet soft and infinitely complex like a fine full-bodied wine. We carry it in our own minds, but it flows deeper than that. It is in our blood, the collective memory of our ancestors, the culmination of the roads they travelled weaving the societies that shape us, coursing through our veins. A family photograph, my grandmother, my father, and myself, our heads all tilted at exactly the same angle, our faces reflections of one another. An evening spent with relatives unseen for years, uncovering the similarities that bind us through our blood: "oh, I do that too, oh, yes, that runs in the family". This land has always been my homeland but long not been my home. It is an alternate reality that nearly defined me - who would I have been, had I stayed? Yet some things do stay, like the knowledge of my ancestors - pioneers, prarie settlers, survivors of the long, dark winters. The sound of my own voice lapsing into an accent as familiar as a lullaby yet a surprise as it rolls off my tongue.
I am fortunate to have two living grandmothers, women who were born nearly a century ago. I cannot even fathom the change they have seen in their lifetimes - World wars, the depression, the cold war. The fall of imperialism and the rise of consumerism. The automobile, the airplane, the Internet. I am proud to be related to them, to share their blood, to be their legacy. Someday I hope to be in their place, watching from my favourite chair as the future
generations carry on, smiling gently as the world speeds away, knowing that a part of me lives on.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
Wherefore art thou Yoga?
Ok, before we go any further let's clear up that old misunderstanding. Juliet is NOT asking for the current location of her Romeo (this was, after all, the days before GPS iPhones and such). She's asking "why are you Romeo". As in, why is he a Montague and she is a Capulet, and therefore their love, instead of being joyous and free, is forbidden and doomed. Deep stuff, that William Shakespeare. ;)
So what I'm asking here, is, what is in a name?
Lately I have been feeling that the yoga community has picked up a pattern of being quick to judge. Maybe it's a natural consequence of how many different styles and opinions and trends there are in yoga nowadays, but for me, this train of thought comes from a few unconnected places:
Is it attachment? Do we need to validate our own practice, our own bodies over those of others, in order to make us feel safe and strong? Do we need to create superiority in order to justify our choices, e.g. not to wear or to wear brand-name yoga attire?
Is there any way that such things can contribute positively to the larger discussion on Yoga or are they like quicksand, a mass of confusion that sucks us in that we find it hard to get out of?
When I did my YTT my teachers emphasised a principle that I have always embraced here on this blog and everywhere in my yoga life, which is never to make negative generalisations about any other person's yoga, any other style of yoga, or any other teacher of yoga. Keeping in line with the niyama of Satya, truthfulness, this stems from the notion that we cannot project our opinions as truth.
To give an example: I may share with someone that I read a convincing article that doing 'hot' yoga does not really lead to greater detoxification than other types of yoga because the body does not detoxify through the sweat glands but rather through the inner organs. That much is fact. I did read that article and that is what it said. But I would not say that hot yoga is therefore "wrong" in some way. Actually, not only do I really not care if you do hot yoga or not, but if you like it and it brings you what you need, then I am absolutely happy for you!
Yoga really can be a community... But not while it is fractured, divided, polarised and happy that way. Then again, every community needs a moral compass... Think I need to bust out my sutras again, or my YTT late-night philosophy discussion notes. :)
This is a rather rambling post and unstructured. I'm not trying to judge the judgers or blame the blamers, just trying to muddle my way through some of these thoughts. Maybe it reflects more on me that I am so sensitive, than it does on the people I perceive to be judgemental!
Peeps, what do you think? Does Yoga by any name at all still feel just as sweet?
So what I'm asking here, is, what is in a name?
Lately I have been feeling that the yoga community has picked up a pattern of being quick to judge. Maybe it's a natural consequence of how many different styles and opinions and trends there are in yoga nowadays, but for me, this train of thought comes from a few unconnected places:
- An encounter with an Ashtangi whose eyebrows lifted sky high as I said that most days I do an abbreviated selection of primary series poses so that I can fit in my pranayama beforehand and still start work by 9. Maybe I imagined it, but I felt that the look said "how can you call yourself a yogi if you would rather do pranayama than a full primary practice?".
- Snippets around the blogosphere that label yogis according to things like what they wear or what gender/race they are... as if suddenly there is this entire demography of young white women wearing brand-name yoga clothes whose pursuit of yoga is somehow made invalid by their choice of wardrobe...
- Supposed body-love sites on which people rant against thin women, as if they had done something wrong by being born small-boned, or by working hard to be slim and strong, and that this perhaps excluded them from spiritual transformation in some way. Of course I take this personally because I just happen to be one, both by the random accident of my DNA (thanks mom and dad!) and with a fair amount of hard work added in for good measure, too.
Is it attachment? Do we need to validate our own practice, our own bodies over those of others, in order to make us feel safe and strong? Do we need to create superiority in order to justify our choices, e.g. not to wear or to wear brand-name yoga attire?
Is there any way that such things can contribute positively to the larger discussion on Yoga or are they like quicksand, a mass of confusion that sucks us in that we find it hard to get out of?
When I did my YTT my teachers emphasised a principle that I have always embraced here on this blog and everywhere in my yoga life, which is never to make negative generalisations about any other person's yoga, any other style of yoga, or any other teacher of yoga. Keeping in line with the niyama of Satya, truthfulness, this stems from the notion that we cannot project our opinions as truth.
To give an example: I may share with someone that I read a convincing article that doing 'hot' yoga does not really lead to greater detoxification than other types of yoga because the body does not detoxify through the sweat glands but rather through the inner organs. That much is fact. I did read that article and that is what it said. But I would not say that hot yoga is therefore "wrong" in some way. Actually, not only do I really not care if you do hot yoga or not, but if you like it and it brings you what you need, then I am absolutely happy for you!
Yoga really can be a community... But not while it is fractured, divided, polarised and happy that way. Then again, every community needs a moral compass... Think I need to bust out my sutras again, or my YTT late-night philosophy discussion notes. :)
This is a rather rambling post and unstructured. I'm not trying to judge the judgers or blame the blamers, just trying to muddle my way through some of these thoughts. Maybe it reflects more on me that I am so sensitive, than it does on the people I perceive to be judgemental!
Peeps, what do you think? Does Yoga by any name at all still feel just as sweet?
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Learning to Fly: Bakasana
Juliana from Shakti Mama left a comment on my previous post with the following question: "When I attempt to do crow, sometimes the backs of my arms and knees slide against each other and I lose my balance. Is there anything I can do to help keep my knees firm against the backs of my arms, or is this a matter of practice?"
I used to struggle with this (and most other, let's be honest!) aspect of bakasana, or crow pose (also known as crane pose, kakasana), too. That, and the fear of falling flat on my face... Then one day about a year ago, I took an Anusara workshop with the fabulous Desiree Rumbaugh and her partner Andrew Riven, and their way of teaching this pose made it all come together for me. So, I thought I'd share it here!
The key difference is the starting position. Most of us learning bakasana are told to put our knees up against the backs of our arms, like this:
Desiree and Andrew teach it a bit differently. First, they had us squat down with our feet touching and our hands shoulder width apart, like this:
We stayed here for a few breaths, focusing on hugging the knees against the back and outside of the upper arms and engaging the core to squeeze the knees in.
Then, we straightened the arms and walked the hands and feet closer together, still squeezing in, and finally coming up on tiptoes to come to a position like this:
From there, we kept pressing the knees firmly against the upper arms and practiced elevating one foot at a time, keeping the other safely on the ground:
And finally, we gently transferred more weight onto our hands and used our core muscles to lift the feet up!
For me, this method has two serious advantages.
1) There is much less knee slippage - hugging the knees in keeps the knees really nice and stable.
2) The preparatory position is almost exactly the same as the final position! Notice that the feet are together, and the back is rounded like child's pose, just like in the final expression of crow. So all you have to focus on is lifting your feet.
The one disadvantage is that if you are not very open in the hips, the prepatory position can be a bit tricky. To help with this, they suggested using a block or blanket under your feet, to elevate the feet a bit and reduce the load on your hips, like this: (a nice fat pillow in front of you also doesn't go amiss...).
Here's a shot where you can see how the two knee positions compare. It's a subtle change in position but for me, it made a WORLD of difference.
Finally, remember that to come into bakasana from this position, you are not moving forward and down, as it might feel. Your body is staying in almost the exact same place but your feet are lifting up. So the gaze, or drishti in this pose is NOT the floor where you are afraid you are going to face-plant, but forward and upward as you hug your feet - one at a time, or both - up towards the mid-line.
Was this helpful to you? It sure was to me. :) Have you ever had a "revelation" in a pose or a teacher that suddenly opened it up for you? I'd love to hear about it!
I used to struggle with this (and most other, let's be honest!) aspect of bakasana, or crow pose (also known as crane pose, kakasana), too. That, and the fear of falling flat on my face... Then one day about a year ago, I took an Anusara workshop with the fabulous Desiree Rumbaugh and her partner Andrew Riven, and their way of teaching this pose made it all come together for me. So, I thought I'd share it here!
The key difference is the starting position. Most of us learning bakasana are told to put our knees up against the backs of our arms, like this:
Desiree and Andrew teach it a bit differently. First, they had us squat down with our feet touching and our hands shoulder width apart, like this:
We stayed here for a few breaths, focusing on hugging the knees against the back and outside of the upper arms and engaging the core to squeeze the knees in.
Then, we straightened the arms and walked the hands and feet closer together, still squeezing in, and finally coming up on tiptoes to come to a position like this:
From there, we kept pressing the knees firmly against the upper arms and practiced elevating one foot at a time, keeping the other safely on the ground:
And finally, we gently transferred more weight onto our hands and used our core muscles to lift the feet up!
For me, this method has two serious advantages.
1) There is much less knee slippage - hugging the knees in keeps the knees really nice and stable.
2) The preparatory position is almost exactly the same as the final position! Notice that the feet are together, and the back is rounded like child's pose, just like in the final expression of crow. So all you have to focus on is lifting your feet.
The one disadvantage is that if you are not very open in the hips, the prepatory position can be a bit tricky. To help with this, they suggested using a block or blanket under your feet, to elevate the feet a bit and reduce the load on your hips, like this: (a nice fat pillow in front of you also doesn't go amiss...).
Here's a shot where you can see how the two knee positions compare. It's a subtle change in position but for me, it made a WORLD of difference.
Finally, remember that to come into bakasana from this position, you are not moving forward and down, as it might feel. Your body is staying in almost the exact same place but your feet are lifting up. So the gaze, or drishti in this pose is NOT the floor where you are afraid you are going to face-plant, but forward and upward as you hug your feet - one at a time, or both - up towards the mid-line.
Was this helpful to you? It sure was to me. :) Have you ever had a "revelation" in a pose or a teacher that suddenly opened it up for you? I'd love to hear about it!
Friday, June 25, 2010
Hello, Psoas! And other impossible things you did today
When I started to think about Eka Pada Rajakapotasana, One-legged King Pigeon, it was one of those 'impossible' poses.
My body has a lot of issues with this pose, the main ones being: the length of my quadriceps (not long enough lol!) and hip flexors, side and shoulder muscles (longer armpits would be nice...) and bendiness in my lower back. My scoliosis mostly affects the lumbar area, and on one side I have hugely built up muscles, while the other side is a bit convex. Yoga helps a lot to balance it, but the imbalance really comes out when I attempt deep backbends that require more flexibility in the lumbar spine, so my backbends in this area are much easier on one side than the other. The entire pigeon set of backbends, to me, seems like a pipe dream. And yet, with slow and hard work, I AM making progress although I am nowhere yet near the final pose!
Anyway, in the spirit of doing as many impossible things as you can before breakfast, I've been working with a sequence that includes another of those 'impossible' poses - hanumanasana, or splits pose. Another pose that I thought I would NEVER EVER IN A MILLION YEARS be able to achieve... And yet, a few months ago out of the blue I slipped into it almost without trying (now it's hit and miss depending on how warmed up I am... and it's actually easier when I'm not trying). Go figure.
Like some others involved in this discussion on Nadine Fawell's blog, I have been finding that my primary series Ashtanga-based practice just does not open up these areas enough for me. So here is a sequence that I have been enjoying lately. To practice it, you will need two blocks (or sturdy books) and a strap. You might also want to put some extra padding under your knees for the lunges! Although some of the poses in this sequence might look a bit advanced, with the use of props I think it's accessible to everyone. Just respect your limits and remember, as I read in the blogsphere recently: "Yoga is a practice, not a perfect!"
1. Warm ups - start with your favourite warm ups, making sure you really warm up your hamstrings and your lower back. 5 sun salutations should just about do it, but any warm up works.
2. Lunges
a) Find your way into a low lunge, placing padding under the back knee if you need it. Now, place the two blocks either side of the forward foot. Press your hands into the blocks and lift up through the spine, opening the chest and shoulders. Extend from the back knee, keeping it active and feeling a nice stretch the length of your back thigh.
b) Bring the blocks up so they are standing at their tallest, and walk them back a bit. Using your hands to ground into the blocks and keeping the legs strong, extend the spine upwards from the pelvis and curl backwards. This is called Monkey Lunge! If you are comfortable you can even release the hands and let your fingertips brush the floor.
c) Coming back to lunge, ground the forward (in this case the left) hand on the block and gently lift your right lower leg, catching the foot with the hand or using the yoga strap. Keep the right thigh engaged slightly to protect your knee, and gently pull the right foot closer to your body for a nice, deep stretch.
3. Hanumanasana
a) To prepare for splits pose, from lunge turn your left toes back towards you to straighten the left leg, and take a gentle forward bend to stretch out the hamstring.
b) Place your hands on the blocks and start to slide your left foot forward. Keep the heel on the ground and the toes flexed towards you. Support your weight on the blocks as much as possible and focus on your breath. When you have found a comfortable extension, focus back in on the right leg, lengthening it away from your body and feeling the hip flexor stretch! Don't worry about how far you can go - just breathe and be where you are with this one.
3. Kapotasana Poses
Warm up with your normal variation of supine pigeon, folding forward and staying there for as long as you like. When you are ready, come back up for some pigeon variations and backbending work.
a) (NB I switched legs on this picture so you can see the pose better). Support your weight by pressing your hand into a block placed outside your forward knee. Then bend the back knee and gently bring the back foot up towards your body, grabbing it with your hand, or elbow if you choose. Keep the thigh muscles engaged slightly and try to enjoy deep breaths here.
b) A nice way to get used to the idea of backbending is to use a yoga strap. Loop the strap around the back foot (right foot again in the photos!) and bring the forward end over your shoulder on the same side. Get comfortable in pigeon, and when your ready grab the strap with one or both hands. Lengthen the spine from the waist, open up the chest, and start to curl back by walking your hands down the strap. Again, don't worry how far you can or can't go! Just focus on breathing fully and exploring new sensations.
c) Now try coming back into the first variation with the strap looped around your ankle, and play with catching the strap and bending backwards! (NB: this is a hard one to get into on the 10-second self-photo timer, so I haven't quite come fully into the backbend, opening up the chest and bringing the head back. But you get the idea!)
4. Finish up after you've done both sides with a nice long forward bend to counter the back-bending, and then take savasana or any other resting pose.
I hope you enjoy some or all of these ideas! What are poses that you used to think impossible that you are now working towards? What is your experience in King Pigeon? Any tips for me?
My body has a lot of issues with this pose, the main ones being: the length of my quadriceps (not long enough lol!) and hip flexors, side and shoulder muscles (longer armpits would be nice...) and bendiness in my lower back. My scoliosis mostly affects the lumbar area, and on one side I have hugely built up muscles, while the other side is a bit convex. Yoga helps a lot to balance it, but the imbalance really comes out when I attempt deep backbends that require more flexibility in the lumbar spine, so my backbends in this area are much easier on one side than the other. The entire pigeon set of backbends, to me, seems like a pipe dream. And yet, with slow and hard work, I AM making progress although I am nowhere yet near the final pose!
Anyway, in the spirit of doing as many impossible things as you can before breakfast, I've been working with a sequence that includes another of those 'impossible' poses - hanumanasana, or splits pose. Another pose that I thought I would NEVER EVER IN A MILLION YEARS be able to achieve... And yet, a few months ago out of the blue I slipped into it almost without trying (now it's hit and miss depending on how warmed up I am... and it's actually easier when I'm not trying). Go figure.
Like some others involved in this discussion on Nadine Fawell's blog, I have been finding that my primary series Ashtanga-based practice just does not open up these areas enough for me. So here is a sequence that I have been enjoying lately. To practice it, you will need two blocks (or sturdy books) and a strap. You might also want to put some extra padding under your knees for the lunges! Although some of the poses in this sequence might look a bit advanced, with the use of props I think it's accessible to everyone. Just respect your limits and remember, as I read in the blogsphere recently: "Yoga is a practice, not a perfect!"
1. Warm ups - start with your favourite warm ups, making sure you really warm up your hamstrings and your lower back. 5 sun salutations should just about do it, but any warm up works.
2. Lunges
a) Find your way into a low lunge, placing padding under the back knee if you need it. Now, place the two blocks either side of the forward foot. Press your hands into the blocks and lift up through the spine, opening the chest and shoulders. Extend from the back knee, keeping it active and feeling a nice stretch the length of your back thigh.
b) Bring the blocks up so they are standing at their tallest, and walk them back a bit. Using your hands to ground into the blocks and keeping the legs strong, extend the spine upwards from the pelvis and curl backwards. This is called Monkey Lunge! If you are comfortable you can even release the hands and let your fingertips brush the floor.
3. Hanumanasana
a) To prepare for splits pose, from lunge turn your left toes back towards you to straighten the left leg, and take a gentle forward bend to stretch out the hamstring.
b) Place your hands on the blocks and start to slide your left foot forward. Keep the heel on the ground and the toes flexed towards you. Support your weight on the blocks as much as possible and focus on your breath. When you have found a comfortable extension, focus back in on the right leg, lengthening it away from your body and feeling the hip flexor stretch! Don't worry about how far you can go - just breathe and be where you are with this one.
3. Kapotasana Poses
Warm up with your normal variation of supine pigeon, folding forward and staying there for as long as you like. When you are ready, come back up for some pigeon variations and backbending work.
a) (NB I switched legs on this picture so you can see the pose better). Support your weight by pressing your hand into a block placed outside your forward knee. Then bend the back knee and gently bring the back foot up towards your body, grabbing it with your hand, or elbow if you choose. Keep the thigh muscles engaged slightly and try to enjoy deep breaths here.
b) A nice way to get used to the idea of backbending is to use a yoga strap. Loop the strap around the back foot (right foot again in the photos!) and bring the forward end over your shoulder on the same side. Get comfortable in pigeon, and when your ready grab the strap with one or both hands. Lengthen the spine from the waist, open up the chest, and start to curl back by walking your hands down the strap. Again, don't worry how far you can or can't go! Just focus on breathing fully and exploring new sensations.
c) Now try coming back into the first variation with the strap looped around your ankle, and play with catching the strap and bending backwards! (NB: this is a hard one to get into on the 10-second self-photo timer, so I haven't quite come fully into the backbend, opening up the chest and bringing the head back. But you get the idea!)
4. Finish up after you've done both sides with a nice long forward bend to counter the back-bending, and then take savasana or any other resting pose.
I hope you enjoy some or all of these ideas! What are poses that you used to think impossible that you are now working towards? What is your experience in King Pigeon? Any tips for me?
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
In pictures: Ubud, Bali
Well, I am back home from a lovely break in a small town in the mountains of Bali, Indonesia! Ubud is a town nestled in the hills, surrounded by rice-fields and in the last decade or so has become a veritable mecca for tourists seeking culture, yoga, healing and other delights. Despite the throngs of soul seekers and art purchasers, it is one of my favourite places and I always manage to have a lovely time there. Here are a few pictures for you all!
The entranceway to my homestay compound...
Once inside... my little room was upstairs on the right-hand side.
Some good advertising...
Kafe, one of my favourite hang-out spots
Check out the fabulous menu!
The Yoga Shop...
The specials menu at another favourite restaurant, Sari Organik
Which is located in the middle of rice fields and surrounded by their very own organic gardens!
Mmmmmmm. But of course, despite it all, there's no place like home! No place, that is, with a mountain of work waiting for you, an empty fridge and a lovely fluffy cat who is in need of a LOT of attention after you left her with a babysitter for 10 days. :)
Friday, June 11, 2010
The Virtual Community Won't Stock Your Fridge...
First of all, thank you thank you blogger for finally updating your template designer with so many lovely, customize-able blog templates. Yippee! Nothing more pleases the esthetic geek in me. Love love love it.
Secondly, I'm about to head off to the infinitely beautiful island of Bali for a short break. My favourite luxury of living in this part of the world is my proximity to Bali, and the wonderful community in Ubud that is a haven for yoga, healing and relaxation. And, not to be outdone, imported CHEESE!!!
While I'm away, I may blog, or not. But I will be indulging in the delights of a few things I don't have access to at home, including:
I am feeling like the luckiest person on Earth right now, in great part thanks to the amazing community that I have been a part of in the 6 years I've lived here. We are a tight-knit bunch: all thousands of miles from home, we become like family. This community and I have shared many good times, and when the bad times roll around they are right there propping you up, the way it should be. Supporting you, cooking for you, dropping things off at your house without even needing you to acknowledge the individual bearer of the gift.
As part of #315800, Bindu Wiles blogged yesterday about the online community that the event is generating. She publishes some lovely thoughts on community which are heartfelt and true. But it got me thinking of the changing nature of community in our modern world. More and more we are creating these virtual networks, like my own beloved blog community that if you are reading this, you are a part of!
In so many ways this is a lovely thing, and I cannot sing its praises enough. Closing the gaps of space and time, allowing us to connect with those who are like-minded no matter where in the world they may be, allowing us to pool our thoughts and create spaces where so many people of similar ideas can engage with each other.
But the virtual community is as two dimensional as this computer screen. Sometimes, that's a good thing - if someone rubs you the wrong way, you don't have to engage with them. There are blogs that I visit and don't go back to for whatever reason, or comments in forums like ElephantJournal that I would choose not to engage with. The converse of that is, of course, that it sometimes seems that the virtual interface brings out the worst in people. People might feel free to say things online that (I hope) they might not say in a face-to-face dialogue. Because the online world requires an interface, it leaves us free to create a persona that may not be a complete picture of who we are. We focus on some elements of our personality and not others. We interact with words instead of faces and bodies and voices. Or, people might deliberately mis-represent themselves. Masquerading as someone more successful, more together, younger, taller etc. etc. In it's worst incarnation, this two-dimensional nature of the online community ends in three-dimensional tragedy in the form of internet stalkers and child predators.
In a virtual community, we are removed from the physical interface that, for me, is the foundation of a connection between two human beings. That physical, instinctual, energetic connection makes up the building block of our real-world relationships. It's the good-day-bad-day flux of our beings. It's the good-year-bad-year tide of how we relate to one another. And that is what I love about a physical community, is that it is diverse, complex, and challenging - it is not always a comfort zone, not always a place where everything is easy and where you can just hang out with people from the same side of the fence as you are. Because, it's real. (Now obviously there are some rocking online debate forums and those are real too, but you know what I'm talking about. That body-to-body, face-to-face kind of real.)
Your physical community are your family, your friends, your work mates, your neighbours. They are the people you interact with at the shops, the drivers stuck next to you in the traffic, the people you cross paths with without even knowing it, like in those movies where everyone has a different story but they're all connected in some way. And as we all know, it is often easier to like or love people who agree with us than those who don't. The real challenge is extending that compassion to everyone around you.
There are many people in my community who I don't necessarily even like. And there are others who I love beyond words. But towards all of them, in this moment I feel compassion. We didn't choose each other - life put us here, in the same place at the same time. And that's the thing. I might not have picked them out of a hat - but they are here, and I am here, and somehow, that makes us something together.
And for that, I feel blessed. Because more and more I feel like people are living the reality that Gwen Bell expressed when Bindu Wiles (and I can't find the link...anyone?) interviewed her, saying "I don't know my neighbours' names, but I know the handles of thousands of people on Twitter". Woah. [Now, this is not personal - I'm sure that Gwen has a fabulous personal community. It's just the sentiment, expressed so easily like that, kind of triggers me.] For me, that is not something to be celebrated. I mean, we are so ready to connect with random strangers online, but we just seem to accept that the people living mere metres away with us are anonymous faces in our landscape?
Because when it comes down to it and life falls apart, it's your physical community who sit in your living room and cry with you. Who make tea, keep your fridge stocked and magically produce ready-made meals. Rescue you from the bathroom of a manky bar and drive you home even when you don't know where you live ( ;) sorry for telling that one honey!). Lend you money when you can't find your wallet, offer you a lift when you're walking home in the dark, watch your pets, compliment your cooking, fawn over your children/pets/new shoes.
Who, as Melinda so movingly recounts in this post, might one day just save your life.
So here's our homework, kids: find one person in your physical community today and introduce ourselves. Or, find one person you already know and let them know how special they really are. Cause that's where life is.
Who are your three-dimensional community and what do they do for you?
Secondly, I'm about to head off to the infinitely beautiful island of Bali for a short break. My favourite luxury of living in this part of the world is my proximity to Bali, and the wonderful community in Ubud that is a haven for yoga, healing and relaxation. And, not to be outdone, imported CHEESE!!!
While I'm away, I may blog, or not. But I will be indulging in the delights of a few things I don't have access to at home, including:
- Yoga classes in a yoga studio! With wooden floors! Where I'm not teaching! Whee!!
- Vegetarian restaurants... oh my mouth waters
- Shopping
- A vibrant arts community
- Did I mention, about the cheese???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am feeling like the luckiest person on Earth right now, in great part thanks to the amazing community that I have been a part of in the 6 years I've lived here. We are a tight-knit bunch: all thousands of miles from home, we become like family. This community and I have shared many good times, and when the bad times roll around they are right there propping you up, the way it should be. Supporting you, cooking for you, dropping things off at your house without even needing you to acknowledge the individual bearer of the gift.
As part of #315800, Bindu Wiles blogged yesterday about the online community that the event is generating. She publishes some lovely thoughts on community which are heartfelt and true. But it got me thinking of the changing nature of community in our modern world. More and more we are creating these virtual networks, like my own beloved blog community that if you are reading this, you are a part of!
In so many ways this is a lovely thing, and I cannot sing its praises enough. Closing the gaps of space and time, allowing us to connect with those who are like-minded no matter where in the world they may be, allowing us to pool our thoughts and create spaces where so many people of similar ideas can engage with each other.
But the virtual community is as two dimensional as this computer screen. Sometimes, that's a good thing - if someone rubs you the wrong way, you don't have to engage with them. There are blogs that I visit and don't go back to for whatever reason, or comments in forums like ElephantJournal that I would choose not to engage with. The converse of that is, of course, that it sometimes seems that the virtual interface brings out the worst in people. People might feel free to say things online that (I hope) they might not say in a face-to-face dialogue. Because the online world requires an interface, it leaves us free to create a persona that may not be a complete picture of who we are. We focus on some elements of our personality and not others. We interact with words instead of faces and bodies and voices. Or, people might deliberately mis-represent themselves. Masquerading as someone more successful, more together, younger, taller etc. etc. In it's worst incarnation, this two-dimensional nature of the online community ends in three-dimensional tragedy in the form of internet stalkers and child predators.
In a virtual community, we are removed from the physical interface that, for me, is the foundation of a connection between two human beings. That physical, instinctual, energetic connection makes up the building block of our real-world relationships. It's the good-day-bad-day flux of our beings. It's the good-year-bad-year tide of how we relate to one another. And that is what I love about a physical community, is that it is diverse, complex, and challenging - it is not always a comfort zone, not always a place where everything is easy and where you can just hang out with people from the same side of the fence as you are. Because, it's real. (Now obviously there are some rocking online debate forums and those are real too, but you know what I'm talking about. That body-to-body, face-to-face kind of real.)
Your physical community are your family, your friends, your work mates, your neighbours. They are the people you interact with at the shops, the drivers stuck next to you in the traffic, the people you cross paths with without even knowing it, like in those movies where everyone has a different story but they're all connected in some way. And as we all know, it is often easier to like or love people who agree with us than those who don't. The real challenge is extending that compassion to everyone around you.
There are many people in my community who I don't necessarily even like. And there are others who I love beyond words. But towards all of them, in this moment I feel compassion. We didn't choose each other - life put us here, in the same place at the same time. And that's the thing. I might not have picked them out of a hat - but they are here, and I am here, and somehow, that makes us something together.
And for that, I feel blessed. Because more and more I feel like people are living the reality that Gwen Bell expressed when Bindu Wiles (and I can't find the link...anyone?) interviewed her, saying "I don't know my neighbours' names, but I know the handles of thousands of people on Twitter". Woah. [Now, this is not personal - I'm sure that Gwen has a fabulous personal community. It's just the sentiment, expressed so easily like that, kind of triggers me.] For me, that is not something to be celebrated. I mean, we are so ready to connect with random strangers online, but we just seem to accept that the people living mere metres away with us are anonymous faces in our landscape?
Because when it comes down to it and life falls apart, it's your physical community who sit in your living room and cry with you. Who make tea, keep your fridge stocked and magically produce ready-made meals. Rescue you from the bathroom of a manky bar and drive you home even when you don't know where you live ( ;) sorry for telling that one honey!). Lend you money when you can't find your wallet, offer you a lift when you're walking home in the dark, watch your pets, compliment your cooking, fawn over your children/pets/new shoes.
Who, as Melinda so movingly recounts in this post, might one day just save your life.
So here's our homework, kids: find one person in your physical community today and introduce ourselves. Or, find one person you already know and let them know how special they really are. Cause that's where life is.
Who are your three-dimensional community and what do they do for you?
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