The yoga of connecting; simple is enough

Hello dear readers,

Technically a blog has no obligation, but every time my life gets away from me and keeps me away from my blog, I always feel the need to apologise! So readers, I'm sorry for the long absence from this space, and I'll do my best to keep the posts coming for the next little while.

True to my gypsy name, I am traveling at the moment, this time a long work trip that will keep me away from home for 3 months. I'm once again visiting the half-island nation of East Timor - long time readers will remember that I used to live here. It seems that my fate is entwined with this place, for life keeps drawing me back. With a whole world out there, incredibly I am sitting in an office that is only a few doors away from the very first office I sat in 9 years ago when I first came here. Perhaps some places are truly magnetic to our souls, or there is some karma that I have with this place that I have yet to work through.

Morning commute ;)

This time I have the wonderful opportunity to be spending most of my working hours traveling around the country and talking to local people. I will be on the road a lot and my yoga physical yoga practice will most certainly suffer from it, but there are other kinds of yoga. The yoga of connecting to people is one that we so often neglect. The yoga of getting to know other human beings, of asking for their perspectives and listening to what they have to say. We get so engrossed in our personal practice that we forget that the real practice is how we live our lives, minute by minute, day-by day.


Being back at a desk job is also a shift for me. Gone are the long, leisurely morning practices that I have had over the past few months. Now, I am rising in the hot, humid darkness, stepping on my mat still half asleep, swatting mosquitoes. Every step between bed and the mat is a struggle with myself, trying to keep the fire of tapas, discipline, burning long enough to get me to the first breath. But once I am there, everything flows. One breath turns into another and before long a thin sheen of sweat has sprung to my skin, and my body moves into life.

These mornings feel like a homecoming, an echo of years worth of morning practices. To do them (and still be at the office by 8am!), I have stripped back my practice to the basics, trying to get the most out of my limited time on the mat, and it has surprised me how well this simplified practice "fits." It's as if I have stripped away everything that was not serving me, and am left with a practice where every breath, every asana, meets a need. Nothing is extra, no energy is wasted, no thoughts or emotions flung into attachment to "goal poses" or the length of my practice. The reward: I am calm, focused, and (I think!) pleasant to be around. I can go about my day of listening to people with ease and relaxation. I notice a huge increase in my productivity at work on the mornings I do yoga, and a huge loss of focus on the mornings when I trade my practice for an extra hour of sleep. It's nice to be reminded of the transformative power of a simple practice and to remember, in the midst of our complicated lives, that simple is enough.

Dear readers, I promise shortly a return to our regular programming, with some highlights from trips around East Timor thrown in as a bonus.

For now, go on, get on your mats - or get off them - and see what happens. :)

10 ways to incorporate yoga philosophy into your teaching or practice

Last week or thereabouts, I wrote about my dissatisfaction with the way that I teach yoga as a mainly asana-centred discipline, and haven't really found a good balance of also imparting the philosophy of yoga. (NOT as a religious discipline, as discussed in this post about why yoga is not a religion.)

The post generated a lot of comments, and made me think, a lot, about how to practically incorporate more philosophy into your average asana class. This is a mish-mash of my own ideas, and commenters' suggestions - I can no longer really remember who said what, but if you'd like to take credit for your ideas, feel free to leave a comment!

10 practical ways to incorporate yoga philosophy into your teaching (or your practice)

1. Speak from the heart, and don't be afraid!  Talk only about things that resonate deeply with you. Don't just throw in a bunch of waffle because you feel you have to - if it doesn't resonate with you, it won't resonate with your students, either.  If you are among those who believe that yoga is more than just asana, know that you are not alone! Take the plunge, and know that you are doing exactly what you are meant to be doing. :)
2. Tell stories that people can relate to. Tell a story from your own experience, something you learned, or relate a philosophy concept to something everyday. Yoga philosophy is about life off the mat, and this is a nice way to get people thinking about how to apply it to their lives. The best stories often come from our own questions or mistakes, and it lets your class know that you are just a person struggling with it all, too.
3. Use the yoga sutras as a class theme or as the basis for a pre- or post-class discussion. Take a few minutes before or after the asana practice to have students sitting quietly with their breath, and during those moments, talk briefly through a point in the yoga sutras and allow students to meditate on that concept. If it's your style, weave the theme from beginning, throughout the asana practice, all the way to closing.  There are so many interesting sutras to choose from, you could probably do this for years without ever getting stuck for new material! Possibly best to avoid the ones about levitating, though. ;)
4. Go back to the basics. Ideas like concentration, gaze, focusing on your breath, listening to your body - these may seem like a given if you've been doing yoga for a while, but for new students the simple things are still new. Don't underestimate the power of going over the simple concepts again and again, even if it's just a mention of how asana is only one part of an eight-limbed practice.
5. Use concepts from yoga philosophy as the basis for guided meditations. For example, the koshas (sheaths), yamas (restraints), niyamas (actions), prakriti/purusha (ego/true self), moksha (freedom), or other concepts. The koshas work particularly well here, but really, you could script a guided meditation around almost anything.
6. Market your yoga classes as "asana with a bit of philosophy". Errr, ok, it might need to sound a bit cooler than that. "Roots of yoga?" "Deepen your practice?" Anyway, offer an asana practice with a slightly longer discussion / philosophy time built on. Or, if you are a sequencing genious, sequence the asanas around the philosophy somehow.  You could do something similar with pranayama.
7. Hold an "introduction to yoga philosophy" session, or regular weekly discussions of yoga philosophy.  Just go for it! Talk to your studio / coffeeshop / wherever about hosting a brief philosophy talk. Make it donation-based, bring cookies, and encourage lots of discussions and questions. Or make it a workshop and get people to actively come up with their own interpretations of things like the yamas and the niyamas.
8. Keep it non-denominational. Yoga as a philosophy embraces all possibilities and can be accessible to people of all faiths. Since you don't know if your students are Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Atheist, Pagan, Hindu or any other religious inclination, don't alienate people by speaking from a religious perspective. Always offer non-denominational alternatives so people of all beliefs feel welcome.
9. Yoga is about self-exploration: empower people to think for themselves! Don't try to tell people what to think or what to do. Use yoga philosophy as a point for discussion and to stimulate thoughts, not as a soap-box. So, instead of saying "ahimsa tells us that to truly practice yoga you have to be vegetarian", say, "ahimsa is about not doing harm with your speech or your actions, think of a few ways hat you could integrate this idea into your life on or off the mat". Empower people to choose for themselves if and how they want to interpret the philosophical teachings into their lives.
10. Relate it to science. Science is something that most people nowadays, at least those with a modern education, relate to on a very fundamental level. The Dalai Lama has written a whole book on how Buddhist philosophy (very similar to yoga philosophy in many aspects) and modern science are converging in astounding ways. The concept of karma - actions creating similar actions - can be related to the new science of neuroplasticity, the concept of interconnectivity ("OM"...) explained in terms of sharing atoms.  There are more and more studies available documenting the benefits of yoga on a scientific level - even some of those that can't quite be explained!

And I guess, one more that goes without saying: always study, always seek to deepen your own knowledge. Read, talk, write, discuss, and most of all, experiment with living your interpretation of yoga philosophy, and continue to deepen your own journey.

On trying without trying to "achieve", setting yourself up to succeed, and never giving up

Sometimes I hear people say: "I've accepted that I will never be able to do that pose", or "that pose is just impossible for me."

In fact, I've probably said exactly those things. I've "embraced my body's shortcomings" or "accepted my limitations" more times than I can count in yoga. I've said things like "well, my arms are just too weak / legs too long / back too crooked to be able to do that pose".

And I thought it was pretty yogic, you know? "Letting go" of my attachment do being able to do a particular pose. "Accepting my body the way it is", with its "too long / too short / too weak / too crooked" limbs or joints or regions.

But it wasn't. Yogic, as in "rooted in and therefore justified by yoga philosophy." I was not being philosophical, I was being escapist. I was not being "enlightened", I was being defeatist.

Because what yoga philosophy really says is: try anyway. Don't worry about what you achieve, or don't achieve. Don't worry about too short / too long / too weak / too crooked. Just try, and then try again tomorrow.

Of course, that is easier said than done, because we are human beings and we want results. Not results next year, but results next week. We want movie-musical-montage kind of progress, where within the space of 2 emotionally stimulating minutes set to a swelling score, we overcome obstacles and achieve the hitherto unachievable. But there's a reason that those scenes are done in a montage, and that is this: the reality is very, very dull. Monotonous even.  There are days, and weeks and months, and probably years in which you don't "achieve" that impossible pose.

But from the philosophical sense, that doesn't matter.  It doesn't matter where you get, or how quickly you get there. What matters is that you DID - because doing is infinitely preferable than restraining from doing.

Now, that doesn't mean getting straight on your mat and attempting headstand in your first week of practice. Or your second. Or your first year. Or your first decade. What it does mean, is keeping an open mind that ONE DAY, you may be able to do headstand. That's all - you don't have to do it, or even consciously work towards it - just don't rule it out. Whether it happens or not is another story, the outcome of which you needn't concern yourself with. Just as long as you never give up on yourself and the potential that lies within you.

You may be quick to point out that this approach has obvious limitations: a person with compressed vertebrae should not be believing that they could do headstand. Or should they? Because you have probably already realised that this philosophy is not really about the physical practice of yoga, but our approach to our everyday lives, our infinite potential in terms of relationships, career, love, life and happiness. The physical practice merely offers us the opportunity to put it into practice every time we get on our mat. Not giving up. Believing in our potential.

So next time you are struggling with an "impossible" pose, say to yourself instead: "this pose would be possible, when..." and identify one, or two, or three things - no matter how small! - that you can work on, that will set you on the path towards that pose, and do those instead. So you are not setting yourself up to fail, but rather, you are setting yourself up to succeed at steps along the way.

For instance, if your impossible pose is handstand (mine was), you might break the pose down into: arm and wrist strength, open hamstrings, and confidence being upside down - and work on those instead.  You might VISUALISE yourself doing the full pose, while integrating into your practice the little steps that might eventually get you there. You might set yourself on the path, and make it about the journey, and not the destination (it will be about the journey, in the end, regardless).

Don't surrender to self-prescribed boundaries of what's impossible. Don't chain yourself to results. Surrender to possibility, and let the outcome surprise you.

Taking Yoga (Injuries) Seriously

I usually don't weigh in on the heavy yoga debates, and I'm not about to start now. I have the curse of always being able to see both sides of an issue. But this article about how a woman quit yoga after an injury has been making the rounds and caught my attention.

A few bloggers have criticised the author of the article for quitting, but personally, I don't see that as an issue. Yoga is a personal practice, not a panacea. It's not right for everyone and not everyone will like it. Some people will quit.  So what? The author of the article made her choice, learned something about herself in the process, and found a physical practice that she thought suited her better. It sounds like a happy ending to me.

The issue that I have is that this woman was medically diagnosed with high blood pressure and was not aware, or made aware, of the potential impacts, or told that she shouldn't be doing inversions, especially not intense inversions like headstand and handstand.  The resulting injury she suffered led her to quit yoga, rather than to quit inversions - which is her personal choice and it's really not my place to judge, opine, or argue with that. It's a free world, as they say.

From my perspective, reacting to tales of yoga injuries by denying them, defending yoga, or attacking the injured person or their teacher is not a constructive response. Yoga-asana is a physical discipline and the possibility of injury is always there. Find me one yoga practitioner who has never felt the twinge of over-stretching a muscle, fallen over while attempting a balancing pose, received a bad adjustment, or simply wound up feeling dizzy or nauseous while practicing. I think it's our responsibility to acknowledge that the risks are there and to do our best to become safe and knowledgeable practitioners and teachers. We need to remember that the principles of Ahimsa (non-harming), Aparigraha (non-grasping), and Satya (being truthful), among others, are more important to a yoga practice, or teaching yoga, than the asanas.

Being a pragmatist, I have tried to draw out some lessons from this story, and here are a few that I can think of.

1. If you have a medical condition, discuss it with your doctor and your yoga teacher, and do your own research, so that you can make safe choices - and then make them! (Ahimsa!) Don't make the mistake that this woman made, of keeping silent about her new medical condition and finding out the hard way what the consequences were. If neither of them know what to tell you, find a new doctor or a new teacher! And of course, do the research yourself - including drawing on your personal practice - so that you can make safe choices. Everyone is different - it's ok to explore and test your boundaries and find out where your personal limits are - but don't ignore them (Aparigraha - let go!).

2. If you are a teacher, know your contra-indications and always state them. (Satya!) In the reality of teaching large-group classes, we can't always know the medical histories of each and every one of our students. But we can take 10 seconds to make sure we talk about the contra-indications of the classes we are teaching and the poses we are instructing.  Especially with "higher-risk" poses like inversions. [I say higher risk because in a person with untreated high blood pressure, holding a long inversion could potentially lead to serious medical complications, possibly even a stroke. And that deserves to be taken seriously.]

• Because students often come in late, what I have found best is to make a short announcement after the opening meditation or when I bring the class to standing for the first time. I talk about the level of the class, and if it's a physically demanding class (as I usually teach), I warn people that it might not be appropriate if they are pregnant, or have medical conditions or injuries. 
• When I talk about contra-indications, I often say "please". As in, "were going to do shoulderstand now, but if you have high blood pressure, please don't go into this pose straight away - just relax until I can come around to you".

This also means learning about conditions that might affect your students as they age - more and more people are practicing or even starting yoga in their golden years, and it's worth the extra study to find out about osteopenia/osteoporosis, high blood pressure or Type II diabetes, for example.
 

3. If you are a teacher, create a safe space, and actively encourage people to acknowledge their bodies' limitations and explore alternatives.  This doesn't mean you can, or should, force people to stay within artificially drawn boundaries. But you should be able to set the foundation for your students to make informed choices, and create an atmosphere where nobody feels pressured to go too far. (Ahimsa again!)

I'd love your comments and thoughts... Readers, from your experience, what would you add to these suggestions?

Q&A

Last week, I gave you a gorgeous print from Eliza at ArtAsana.  Having got in touch, she asked me some questions, which I answered, and I thought I would share.

Want to spread the love?  Answer them yourself, and link back to Eliza at ArtAsana!  The questions are:

1) What's the biggest frustration in your yoga practice or life experience right now?

2) What do you most want to achieve from your your yoga practice or life? By when?

3) What do you think you need in order to reach your goal?

4) What strategies have you tried that have and have not worked?

5) What would it feel like to have your biggest frustration handled?

6) What will it cost you not to have this frustration handled? Any fears come up?

Here are my answers... what are yours?

1) What's the biggest frustration in your yoga practice or life experience right now?

Wow, this is a huge question.  I think that yoga mirrors life (and not the other way around, 'cause that would be a bit obsessive!).  I think my biggest frustration in my life at the moment is the gap between what I want my life to be like, and what it actually is at the moment.  And I think the same applies to my yoga practice.  Practically speaking, I find it hard to balance my desire to practice yoga and grow and evolve, and devote time to that practice, with my need to work and also live my life!  The result is that I'm often too tired or busy to practice as much as I would like and to push my body as much as I push my mind.  But at the same time, I love my job and so I just have to accept that it's a balancing act.

I think it's important to remember that the goals that we have are a moving target, and sometimes it takes time to adjust.  The things that I want now, I didn't want a few years ago.  And vice versa a few years from now.  In yoga, the things that were important to me a few years ago are no longer relevant.  We evolve, our practice evolves, our dreams evolve, and it's the most natural and inevitable thing in the world.  I remember when I spent an entire year absolutely torturing myself trying to learn handstand.  It was SO hard, and so full of fear and emotion for me.  And when I finally got it, after SO much work...  Well, handstand is not even important to me anymore.  Because it was never really about the pose in the first place.

2) What do you most want to achieve from your your yoga practice or life? By when?

There was this book that I read when I was a kid, it was called "The Big Orange Splot".  Bear with me here.  ;) In the book, this guy lives on a street where all the houses look exactly the same.  And then one day, by accident, a bird drops this bucket of paint on his house, and it makes a big orange splot.  And he gets inspired and starts to transform his whole house into a tropical paradise, and he says about it: "my house is me, and I am it, and it looks like all my dreams."  That's what I want from my yoga practice.

3) What do you think you need in order to reach your goal?

Well, orange paint alone probably isn't going to do the trick...   I think the biggest thing that we need to realise our dreams is self-realisation, awareness of what we really want.  We need to dig through all the stories we tell ourselves, all the mind-games and justifications, and get down to the heart of what we really want and need in life.  We need to be honest, and to be honest we need to be brave, and to be brave we need support and love and probably a lot of tea and chocolate (i.e. self-nurture)!  Yoga - whatever your yoga is - helps us do that.  As do good friends (the kind who ask you hard questions and don't let you avoid the answers), family, good relationships, and a little dose of those higher powers who put just the right obstacles and opportunities in our way.  So really I guess all we need is an open mind and an open heart.

4) What strategies have you tried that have and have not worked?

I can't categorically say that anything I've ever tried "has not worked".  I have learned something from everything I have done.  However, I can say that self-delusion, avoidance, making excuses, lying to myself and others, and running away from hard choices have pretty much only led to disappointment and wasted a whole lot of my time - duh.

5) What would it feel like to have your biggest frustration handled?

I'm not really sure what you mean by handled - I don't think anyone else could just make my frustrations go away - but maybe that's just me, "lone hero" syndrome and all.  Seriously though, I just don't believe in easy solutions, especially not in life - or in yoga.  Nobody can just magically transpose meditational zen onto you.  You have to just do the work, and deal with that.  Besides, we are human - there will always be another frustration around the corner!

6) What will it cost you not to have this frustration handled? Any fears come up?

The cost of not resolving issues - too high to think about.  Stagnation.  Unhappiness.  Unbearable waste of short, precious time on this planet.  There are some journeys that we have to go through, but there is also a time and a place for everything.  Even hard things need to have boundaries.  Some of those will be in days, some in months or years.  Some things will never go away, just be transformed or absorbed.  But we must change, we must evolve!  Otherwise we are missing the opportunity that is our fortunate, fortunate life on this beautiful planet.

10 things I have learned about teaching yoga

All around the yoga blogspshere, yoga teachers are lurking! Some of us blog openly, how many others are just reading a bit here, a bit there?


Since moving to Oxford I am on a teaching hiatus, and it has given me time to reflect on the joys and the challenges of being a yoga teacher.  Here are a few things I can say I've learned, in no particular order.  Enjoy! Share! Comment!

1. "Don't make it up": [This is an unforgettable quote from my own teacher.  It's hard for me to convey just how many things are summed up by this, but I'll try to scrape the tip of the iceberg.]  Yoga is a system.  It is tried, tested and it has worked for thousands of people, possibly for thousands of years. There are fountains of knowledge available about it, and incredible teachers who transmit it.  What this quote means to me is: Immerse yourself.  Dig deep.  Get to really know - and experience - what you are teaching and assimilate what you have learned in order to pass it on.  Because when you teach yoga you are reaching into people's sacred spaces - their bodies, their health, their wellbeing, their souls.  Respect that and teach what works, with that honour code etched always in the forefront of your mind.  Don't make it up.

2. Don't be afraid if you don't know: There has been a lot of blogging about the role of the teacher and the pedestals that we risk putting ourselves on or being put on.  When put in the position of the teacher, it's natural to want to be able to answer every question our students ask us.  And they will ask questions - hard questions! Left-field questions!  Sometimes you will be able to answer confidently.  But when a question leaves you with your mouth opening and closing again - don't be afraid to say those 3 little words: "I don't know".  Maybe even follow them by: "but I'll find out for you!".

There is also another type of question that yoga teachers get asked - deeply personal questions, the soul-searching ones that really, nobody can answer except the student themselves.  When confronted with these I've found that the best answer is to reassure people that what they're feeling is normal, and remind your student that yoga is experiential, that their personal experience is just as valid as anything I could offer, and that it's up to them to make their own choices and decisions.

3. Speak up!  I think this one is self-explanatory: when teaching, project, project and project some more! As with the theatre, when you teach yoga, especially if you teach to music, remember that when you speak you should be facing the class (not the floor or the wall!) and to look up and back while you speak to make sure everyone can hear you.  If you do always teach to music, try teaching without it (even an imaginary class will do) - you will suddenly be aware of just how important your voice is, both in speech and in silence, in creating the mood and energy of the class.

4. Demonstration is a tool, not a teaching.  Demonstrations are great and valuable tools.  But demonstrating every single pose in front of the class is not the same as teaching!  If students want a guided practice, they can get a DVD - your role as a teacher is to teach, not just to lead.  (Hey, we all start out there... it takes time, too right?) A good example is downward facing dog.  If you are leading your class through this pose and at the same time demonstrating it, who benefits from this? After all, from this pose, you can't see your students, and they can't see you (or hear you, likely)! So use demonstrations as a tool, but let it be just one of many tools in your teacher's bag of tricks.

5. Smile.  Laugh! Play! Be silly! And encourage your students to do the same. Yoga is supposed to be relaxing, and people relax when they are having fun and feel comfortable.  Let your sense of humour shine through and have a good time - the chances are that if you do, your students will too.

6. To adjust or not? - Have the discussion.  This is such a huge question for teachers, students and the yoga community in general.  What I have learned is this: whatever you choose, share it with your students.  If you are going to adjust, explain it to them and give them a chance to opt out of it if they want one.  If you are not going to, explain it to them also, and give them other ways to get your feedback on their asanas.

7. Don't ignore the core! Core strength is fundamental to every yoga pose.  Whether expressed through a subtle understanding of mula bandha or a rocking navasana, the key is always in the core.  And yet, so many teachers shy away from core strengtheners because we dread the pained looks on our students faces!  Something that works for me is to work the core into verbal cues in standing poses like Tadasana, Warrior II, Utkatasana or Tree pose.  Also, if you teach Vinyasa or any type of flow, you can integrate your core work into a vinyasa so it doesn't feel like such a slog.


8. Stay rooted in your own practice.  As I said earlier, yoga is experiential.  We can only teach what we know about yoga, and we can only know by doing.  When we first start teaching we have to struggle to maintain our own practice, and many teachers fall into the trap of using their classes as personal practice times.  But as a teacher we still need to be taught, to learn, to grow, and to explore.  The more you practice, the richer your teachings will be, and the more you will evolve as a teacher, keeping your students interested and constantly learning as well.  Maybe this is the most important thing of all!

9. Teach yoga, not just asana.  We all know that yoga is so much more than asana.  But do our students?  I'm not saying that we should all get preachy every class.  But I do find that when I am inspired to branch out onto a yoga philosophy tangent, people are interested and want to know more.  So many teachers I know are afraid of bringing a spiritual element into their classrooms.  And if yoga isn't spiritual in any way for you, then that's how it should be.  But if yoga is transformational for you, share it.  It doesn't have to be a philosophy lecture.  Teach the little things - like stress-busting yoga poses you do at work or pranayama for road rage.  Talk about how santosha can manifest through everyday acts of kindness, or how ahimsa might lead you to improve your diet.  Just as yoga creeps into every aspect of your life, let these aspects feed back into your teaching

10. Be yourself! By far the most important of all - teach what you love, and teach from the heart.  We all have teachers that we aspire to be like, but at the end of the day, yoga is really just all about being yourself.  So dance if you love dancing, chant if you love chanting, play music if you love music, or don't if you love silence.  The best teachers are the authentic ones.


Well, those are some of the things that have been on my mind about teaching...  Readers, can you add any lessons you have learned from teaching or being taught, or relate from personal experience?

The Gift of Embodiment: Part II

My body is a gift.

My body breathes (oxygen absorbed, transferred, delivered, bonded, unbonded, CO2 bonded, released, inhale, exhale, wow).

My body moves.

My body makes popping noises, poofing noises and other funny noises!

When my body laughs hard enough, my belly hurts, my eyes run and more noises ensue. Glee!

My body tells me what it needs, my body eats, drinks and digests.  My body gets rid of what it doesn't need (why can't I do the same?!).

My body sleeps so I can dream.

My body stumbles and recovers. Sometimes my body falls, my body hurts, my body bleeds, my body heals.

My body heats me when I'm cold, cools me when I'm hot.  My body runs when I'm afraid, jumps when I am startled, stands still when I don't know what to do.

My body makes funny faces, has funny habits, twists my hair, rubs my nose.

My body grows all the time, skin, hair, fingernails toenails!

My body gets butterflies in its tummy when my eyes meet the eyes of someone I love.  My body gets tears in its eyes when I'm sad, and crazy big smiles when I'm happy, and faraway looks when I am far away.  (But I always come back).

My body puts one foot in front of the other.  Day in, day out.  Never fails.

My body allows me to experience the physical world.  My body loves to touch fluffy things, stroke silky things, press palms into smooth, warm wood still vibrating with the memory of trees.

I digress.



My body is healthy and whole, and for that I am grateful.
My body is a gift.  My body is a home.  My body is amazing!

Does anyone remember "The Big Orange Splot", by Daniel Pinkwater? 

"My house is me, and I am it, and it looks like all my dreams."

Choosing Peace

It's been a hectic week and my blog has been neglected. It's amazing how quickly my time is consumed and my brain is drained when I am working full-time! If I ever need re-affirmation that a part time life is for me, this would do it.

Part of the week has been stressful contract negotiations. Ick, right? It's ironic because it's taken me nearly 3 weeks to negotiate the terms of a 3 week job! Finally on Tuesday (2 days after the job started) I just gave in and signed the thing. And moved on.

It reminded me that life in the real world doesn't just do what you please. It does what it pleases and you just have to deal. But no matter how much things seem out of your control, we always have one thing: choices.

No matter what, we make choices every second. If I see a situation as a burden, that's a choice. If I react to someone with anger instead of patience, that's a choice. If I choose not to deal with an issue, that's also a choice.

In this case, I chose to let go. Which more often than not, is the best choice for me. Not happy with the contract but accepted it anyway? Let it go. Not looking forward to the job? Let it go. Not sure how to handle a personal situation? Let it go. Just breathe. Just believe that it will be ok in the end, that when the time is right, the right thing will happen.

In a nutshell - choose peace. As the Dalai Lama said: "Learning to live is learning to let go."

Namaste and have a great long weekend everyone! I will be in my hammock in a bamboo hut in an eco-village on a very remote island and will have no access to the internet whatsoever. Namaste to that!

The Gift of Embodiment: Part I

My last post, as well as a few other things in the blogosphere (LOVE that word!) of late, got me thinking. In particular, thinking about the body and our relationship to it. There are a lot of bloggers who reflect on the way that we, and women in particular, struggle to accept and love our bodies in the face of a culture that worships appearances and an idealised physical form. One amazing woman who blogs regularly and movingly about this is psychotherapist and Yoga Teacher Teresa over at My Embodiment. Another is Suburban Yogini, who did a recent interview with Bliss Chick, another body image warrior. And Brenda from Grounding Through the Sit Bones did some reflection on role modeling in the yoga community in this post a few weeks back.

I think at sometime or other, we all suffer from thoughts about our body image. As a thin woman, I wanted to be busty. Curvy women long to be thin. Our male friends want to be thin but buff, my asian friends want to be whiter, my white friends wish to be darker and so the list goes on! Interestingly (for me), the wealthier the society in general, the more overwhelming these issues seem to be. Maybe it's the inundation of advertising and media that accompany wealth, celebrating body-stereotypes and obsessing over appearances. Probably we just have too many mirrors in our home and too much time on our hands. Maybe it's more than that - maybe some of us try to compensate for our extremely privileged material lives by making ourselves suffer from the inside. I think I fell into this latter category in my own teenage years.

The truth is, everyone suffers. Everyone who is born into a body will experience suffering in their lifetime. For the majority of people in the world this suffering is part of the daily struggle to survive against the obstacles of hunger, illness, poverty, and lack of choices. But even we, the most privileged people on the planet, cannot evade pain, grief, and fear. The only way never to suffer is not to be born. But sometimes it seems that our society gives us only the tools to deny, suppress or evade suffering, and not to deal with and transverse it.

When the source of suffering is our internal image of the body, and not just the body itself, we enter into a strange realm - one where our suffering is no longer grounded in reality, but in perception. As Yoga Sutra 1.8 puts it: "Misconception occurs when knowledge of something is not based upon its true form." When we fall into this trap, we truly believe in a false reflection, and believe in it so strongly that we put our bodies through physical suffering because of it. This is the realm of eating and exercise disorders, of the young women throwing up in the bathroom, the young men trying to live on a diet of protein shakes and killing themselves in the weight-room, of african and asian women who bleach their skin trying to make it whiter. This world of misconception is also a window to the more sinister realm of society-imposed bodily mutilations such as foot-binding and neck stretching, all in the name of 'beauty' and 'perfection'.

These thoughts and realities make me wonder: how has humanity failed these individuals so deeply as to lead them to that suffering? And in our own daily biases and insecurities, how far are we from that 'mental modification' ourselves? How can we work to change that, to help others or to help ourselves?

The Yoga Sutras offer us the first clue: "These mental modifications are restrained by practice and non-attachment." (1.12) and "Practice becomes firmly grounded when well attended to for a long time, without break and in all earnestness." (1.14). In English, that means: Long, Hard Work. Oh darn - no quick fix. ;) And for some of us, used to instant gratification, that might be enough to make us stop listening right there!!

But for others, Yoga offers the perfect practice to address misconceptions. The practice of Yoga encourages a new knowledge of the body to occur - one that begins from within, instead of from without. It offers a chance to re-build a fractured relationship with the Self, and to create a Self-image that is not based on the material world, but on a connection with the deeper self/spirit. And on the physical level, it offers us the chance to create a new ideal: a healthy, balanced body that is unique to every individual. A journey through space and time that is tailored just for us. A journey that takes us to a state of bliss: "Samprajnata samadhi (distinguished contemplation) is accompanied by reasoning, reflecting, rejoicing and pure I-am-ness." (1.17)

On the macro level, the teachings of Yoga have a lot to offer as well. Non attachment (aparigrahah) includes letting go of beauty ideals, and not judging others by their appearance. Non-harming (ahimsa) means not causing others harm, even if believed that it is truly "for their own good" (i.e. the thankfully extinct practice of binding girls feet because it would attract a good marriage). Ahimsa also means not to cause yourself harm, and this practice begins by cultivating a healthy, non-harmful relationship between the body and the mind. And all of these practices are just that - practices. They take conscious effort, discipline, self-awareness and hard work. And don't forget non-attachment: we have to be willing to endure the journey, and not strive for perfection at the outset.

Change begins from within: what are body issues that you have struggled with? How has yoga brought about changes in your perception?

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So concludes part one... In part II I intend to reflect a bit more philosophically on suffering and how it can be that some of us come to call embodiment a gift, despite all that we have to endure. And I am looking for possible guest bloggers or contributers for a Part III on body image within the yoga community... Let me know if you are interested!

My amazing students: overcoming chaos and staying in the flow

On Fridays I teach a gentle flow class. It's my favourite class of the week - calm music, breath-focused flow - it even leaves me, the teacher, feeling refreshed!

This evening we had a bit of a 'special' class. First of all, we practice in a small conference room annexed to the back of a local NGO. For the past few weeks the air conditioners haven't been working properly and it has been HOT. Like, hot-yoga-hot, but the heat and humidity are 100% natural and you can't just turn them down or open a window! Said NGO office is adjacent to a local football (soccer) field, and today just before yoga class the inevitable happened: yes, you got it, ball through the window. Glass everywhere, chaos, and, yep, gaping hole for noise, mosquitoes and yet more humidity to come in through.

As we started our practice, the game next door continued, seeming louder than ever through the broken window. When the game finished, the guys decided to string up a net between the field and the NGO building. Great idea! Also, loud, chaotic and complicated idea which meant that we had 15 young guys standing on the wall in between the NGO and the field, shouting to each other, holding a net, trucking ladders back and forth, and yes, staring in at whatever-on-earth-the-wacky-foreigners-are-up-to-now: our Yoga class.

So there we are in our 100% humidity, mats sliding on tiled floor, mozzies buzzing, footballs flying, ladders clanging, boys shouting, and I am turning up the music and practically shouting
"stay with your breath"... And somehow, we manage to stick with it, somehow, we manage to stay in the flow. As we hit Savasana night falls, I turn off the lights, turn up the music, and finally find that teeny bit of stillness.

And then, after the class, one of the students comes up to me and says: "I think that was the best yoga class I've ever been to in my 60 plus years."

So this post is dedicated to my students. As I said to them tonight, they never cease to amaze and inspire me. There we are in our far-from-perfect conditions, and yet they keep coming, week in and week out, to practice Yoga. Here they are, far from home and family, from country and loved ones, living in the crazy uncertainty of this chaotic town and yet, they practice. They practice through sticky heat, power-outages, mosquito bites, broken glass, football games, and shouting youth. They come to practice through the dust and the heat, or wade through the muddy, flooded parking lot in torrential rain. Despite all the obstacles this place can throw at them, they practice. And THAT, I was reminded tonight, and reminded them, is Yoga.

Because life is unexpected. You never know what it's going to throw your way. It's not a smooth, easy road - it's a 4x4 obstacle course and the ride is going to be bumpy! Yoga is about self-discovery, and it is in facing adversity that we really learn about ourselves, it is how we deal with the challenges and the potholes that teaches us who we are and helps us to grow. And if we can keep a soft breath and a steady gaze amidst all the chaos - then truly, what can we not do?

This is your real Yoga...

Brenda over at Grounding Thru the Sit Bones posted this inspiring post. In it, she says:

"Your real Yoga is how you live your life."

YES!! This is such a succinct reminder of the PURPOSE of it all - Yoga is not teaching us how to bend, stretch, or stand on our heads. Yoga is teaching us how to LIVE.

One of my TT teachers said these words (more or less) that I will never forget: "My mat is like my battlefield, where I prepare myself for the world. Because if I can come to my mat every day and do battle with myself, with my body and my ego, if I can do that and still keep a steady breath, what in the world can I not do?"

Your real Yoga is in the real world. None of the ancient texts talk about asana (not that it isn't fabulous!), they talk about living life - mindfully, ethically, patiently, compassionately.

I am always trying to find ways of throwing this idea into my classes, to remind my students that it's not about the poses, or whether your nose touches your knees, or what the person on the next mat is doing! It's the way we deal with everyday situations - traffic jams, noisy kids, spilled coffee, cranky spouses, aging parents, power-outages, that makes our Yoga.

Even on the mat, the real Yoga is how we deal with what comes up - our emotions, frustrations, and challenges as we practice. At some point, we ALL experience feelings of insecurity (OMG I can't do that pose but so and so can), feelings of superiority (OMG, I am so better at this pose than so and so is), feelings of frustration, anxiety, inadequacy, strength, weakness, tears and laughter as we peel back our layers and practice the humbling discipline of asana. As Eco Yogini recently blogged in this post, these feelings can leave us drained and "unyogic" if we let them run away with us. But we have to remember to treat ourselves with the same loving kindness as we treat others around us! To acknowledge our feelings, but not let them take control of us! To, as my teacher said, confront ourselves, and then come back to the breath.

Meditation (my 'challenge' for this year - so far not going so well I'm afraid - but it will get better!!) is the same. It's not about whether you can sit still, or for how long. It's not about having a "perfect", empty, calm mind. If you can sit through a meditation session and still show patience and loving-kindness to that butterfly brain... That is Yoga.

Namaste!

Present vs. the countdown

Perhaps one of the most challenging mindfulness disciplines of Yoga is summed up by this reminder: "Be Present".

Three little words: Be. Here. Now. Three little words that represent one of the most difficult things a person can do!

I come to this topic because I am counting down until my TT retreat starts. In fact, the first title I typed into this blog post today was "T minus 8 days". And then the more I thought about that, the less Yogic that felt. Because in counting down to the future, you are not living in the present. And not only that, but when we project our expectations onto a future event, aren't we just setting ourselves up to experience that in a certain way, instead of honoring the experience itself?

This of course is familiar to anyone who has ever "set themselves up to be let down". When we allow ourselves to overindulge in our expectations, whether it be about an event, a job, a situation or even a person or a relationship, we open ourselves up to disappointment when the reality is far different from what we expected or hoped. I have known people who seem to live chronically from one dreamy expectation to bitter disappointment, and then onto the next dreamy expectation. One lasting impression that comes from an encounter with such a person is: "s/he must be exhausted!"

The real point here is not whether or not life lives up to our expectations. From a Yoga perspective, by constantly living in expectation of a future event, we are avoiding the present. Which, wait a minute, is exactly what I am doing! At present, I have a week of work left to go, a mountain of things that need doing, people who need direction, documents that sadly will not just write themselves. And yet, here I am dreamily musing about Yoga and looking forward to my teacher training... and writing blogs!

Well, guess I should take my own advice and get back to the present... and do my best to stay focused on the here and now!

Namaste~

Practicing yoga is practicing life

Last week I had a lesson in Karma Yoga. I had adopted a stray cat (or rather, she had adopted me), and for almost a year had been feeding her. She was a lovely cat with a sweet disposition, and desperately wanted to be adopted by me (which my actual cat was having NONE of!).

She was always in fragile health but we had fed her up and she was seeming pretty strong and healthy. So last weekend I took her to the vet to be spayed, in hopes that once she had had the operation we could find a family to adopt her. I was a bit worried that she wouldn't be strong enough and I warned the vet about her fragile health. He thought she would be ok - but sadly, she wasn't, and died during the operation. :( Oh, tears!!!!

I felt terrible. I felt like I had betrayed her. I replayed her pitiful meows from inside the cat-box in the car as I was driving her to her doom. I regretted ever taking her to the vet and I wished I had just let her be.

But then I remembered my own post about Karma Yoga - that action is better than inaction. The intentions of my action were good. I did a better thing by trying to do something good for this cat than by doing nothing at all. We can't let our lives be ruled by attachment to consequences - good or bad. The intention is, has to be, the guiding principle that we live by.

Lesson in point - but I will still miss Patches the cat.

It's all about attitude

Attitude refers to the way we express ourselves. Interestingly, it is derives from the Latin word for 'fit', and from the Italian "attitudine" which means "fitness" or "posture". How 'fitting' for Yoga because indeed much of a person's attitude is carried in their posture.

A teacher can encourage students towards a positive attitude, as defined from a Yoga perspective and guided by the yamas and the niyamas, leading students towards a non-harming, non-grasping, focused Yoga practice. One of the key things I have heard teachers remind their classes is that a pose is not about results but about effort. Being in touch with your body and putting in the right amount of effort in a way that challenges you while respecting your needs and avoids the risk of injury is a key ability to develop a balanced practice.

Most importantly in the Yoga studio, though, is the teacher's attitude, because this sets the pace for the entire class. A Yoga journal article for teachers (http://www.yogajournal.com/for_teachers/2610) expresses this perfectly by reminding teachers to pay attention to their posture, since the way you carry yourself is the first thing students will notice as they come into class. Body language can be a simple yet powerful tool to create an atmosphere of trust and comfort for a new student.

Much of a teacher's attitude comes from their own history and personal approach to Yoga - are you playful or serious, quiet or vocal, lenient or strict, or somewhere in between? For me, the most important thing for a teacher to consider is whether or not they are acting according to the principles of Yoga. Are you teaching from your ego, seeking acclaim or admiration from your students? Or are you allowing knowledge to be channeled through you, teaching from a humble standpoint instead of grasping at results?

A recent experience I had puts this in point for me: the other day I was leading an informal group of Yogis who wanted to try salamba sirsasana, supported headstand. As I explained the steps for coming into the pose against a wall, I decided to demonstrate the pose, but it was hard for them to see me with my back against the wall. Acting quickly, I decided to demonstrate the pose in the open, re-positioned my mat, and lifted up. All good until I remembered where I was, and with a sudden loss in concentration I promptly fell straight over backwards with a resounding "thump"! Thank goodness the group was not scared off the pose and after some better instruction had a very rewarding session in headstand!

These are the moments that Yoga teachers dread... yet in these moments we also learn the most about ourselves, and that is Yoga. In reflecting on this quite embarrassing situation, I realized that the primary thing that went wrong that day was that I did not have the right attitude. I did everything I told my students not to do. I didn't take time to prepare for the pose. My concentration was elsewhere. I was focused not on my breathing and the pose but on the group. But more than that, I was over-confident, and took the opportunity to show off for the group. Falling over was a 'tiny Karma' - in other words, I deserved what I got! So, I learned a valuable lesson - and few bruises!

However, at least I can honestly say that I demonstrated positive attitude after the fact. I did not allow my ego to take over, despite being somewhat embarrassed. I laughed heartily at my mistake and assured the group that they would be safe since they had a wall to support them. For me, it was a good reminder that Yoga, like life, is trial and error. We make mistakes, we fall down, both on and off the mat, and it's ok. A Yoga student should never feel judged by a teacher's attitude. While perhaps other aspects of our lives are not so forgiving, a Yoga class is a safe space, where the student is respected no matter where they are with a pose, as long as their intentions are good and they are putting in the right effort. And every once and a while it's good to know that even our teachers make mistakes - and learn from them. I know I did.

"Tiny Yogas" - Yoga for everyday

I can't remember where I read the term "tiny yogas" (or else I would credit it), but I love the phrase. These refer to the many ways we can apply what we learn in Yoga to our everyday lives.

The physical applications of this are obvious and you can be as creative as you want! Practice tadasana while waiting in line at the bank. Try your triangle pose (utthita trikonasana) when you get home from work and you feel a bit stiff. Use parsvottanasa (standing nose-to-knee stretch) to stretch out your hamstrings before a hike or a walk. My personal favourite (as my housemate will testify) would be Warrior III while brushing my teeth!

But the asanas are only the beginning. So I want to refer back to my last post about balancing energy, and bring the theory off the mat. We don't only benefit from having balanced energy when we practice our physical Yoga, but being aware of your energy and balancing it in your everyday life can have a positive impact on ordinary situations.

As an example, let's imagine Yogi Jane, who is facing a difficult situation at work. Her boss calls her into a meeting and lays on her a huge task, that will require immense time and resources, that has to be done yesterday, that will require her to drop what she is doing and work around the clock to get it done. Even though she privately thinks that what he is asking is unreasonable (it makes her stomach churn!), she acquiesces. As she drives home that day, she thinks about the task ahead and her stress level rises. When she gets home, her housemate Sarah asks her how her day was, and Yogi Jane explodes into a long tirade against her boss and this task he has set her. No matter how Sarah tries to comfort her, Jane's stress levels don't abate. Finally, Sarah's patience is exhausted and she heads to bed. Jane is left feeling unsatisfied and negative, and her stress keeps her from sleeping well.

Sound familiar? Now let's look at the situation from an energy perspective. When Jane acquiesces to her boss despite her reservations, she is using only softening energy - bending or complying to the situation. The 'hard' or muscular energy in the situation isn't dissipated - and it turns into stress, which then overflows into stress, and impacts other situations in her life (her relationship with Sarah). The imbalance between Jane's softening and muscular energy causes her to experience the situation negatively, and she ends up the worse off for it both professionally and personally.

So, what could Yogi Jane have done differently? Imagine that when her boss comes to her with his demands, Jane takes a deep breath and activates her muscular energy - her willpower. She actively resists the instinct to give into her boss' demands. This has an instant physical effect - making her posture stronger and more self-confident. Instead of agreeing immediately, tells her boss that she thinks his proposal is unreasonable. Then, she balances this resistance (her muscular energy) with some soft energy, and proposes some alternative scenarios that could achieve the objective within the time and resources available to her and her team. Together the two of them come to a compromise that meets both of their needs. Coming home to her housemate Sarah, she shares the story of her problem and how she resolved it and then the two relax into a nice quiet evening.

Perhaps this is oversimplified, but the concept remains. Just like in each and every Yoga pose there are areas that need muscular energy and areas that need softening, the same can be applied to situations we confront. Different contexts require different balances - but learning to apply the right mix of 'hard' and 'soft' energy to the situations in our lives can help us bring the mindful, calming influence of Yoga off the mat.

Practicing 'tiny yogas' - applying the principles of Yoga to an action or an activity in your day, is a rewarding way to begin exploring the path of Karma Yoga - Yoga by action, if you will. In the next post, I'll explore this concept more fully and also touch on the fundamental precepts of the 'Yogi code of ethics' - the guidelines (do's and don'ts!) that Yoga lays out for how to live a fulfilling life.

~Namaste~